i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
