I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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