Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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