HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
