Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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