btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
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Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
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I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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