Kareoke will never be a sober sport
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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