You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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