We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
