yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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