you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
How external is "for external use only"?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
