the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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