Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
