I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Even my vagina gasped.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
