I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
