he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
