I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
