Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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