): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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