you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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