LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize