So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
