remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
and you fell through a lawn chair
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
