Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize