Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
