So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
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I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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