let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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