I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
