you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
