I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
