so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
