Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
