would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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