I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
