Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
