tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
