I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
the gays at disneyland are vicious
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
