where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
