he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
