I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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