***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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