Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
