My nipple is on Facebook.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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