my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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