he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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