hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
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I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
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I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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