Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
