Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Dignity is for republicans.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
