i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Oh god it's open bar.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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