last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize