is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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