just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize