I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
