addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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