The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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