Will you blow on my dice?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
