I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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