is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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