Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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