I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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