i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
