At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
