She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
