she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
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I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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