keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
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Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
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I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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