Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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