I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
